| Scene | Dramatic Intent |
| 1. Victim, Simon, (innocent boy) sleeping on couch in living room | 1. Establishing shot of what will happen to Simon |
| 2. Friend, Gerald, (notorious prankster) creeps into room with suspicious look on his face | 2. Introduces antagonist and shows who and what his character is |
| 3. Gerald carefully tiptoes over to sleeping boy with a rope in his hand and mischievous look in his eye | 3. Reveals Gerald’s intentions, and what he prank he is planning. Also showing backstory on what he will do and how it will happen |
| 4. Gerald goes to the foot of the couch where Simon’s shoes are and ties his shoes together in a triple knot | 4. Reveals Gerald’s first execution of his prank and the audience realizes his level of maturity |
| 5. Gerald goes to Simon’s hands and carefully handcuffs them together behind his back | 5. Reveals Gerald’s second execution of his prank. Also shows that Gerald is executing his prank making sure Simon can’t escape unless helped |
| 6. Gerald goes to the head of the couch, carefully brings out an airhorn and blows it in Simon’s ear | 6. Gerald’s plan comes into action |
| 7. Simon wakes up startled and turns to Gerald confused. Realizes his hands are cuffed behind his back | 7. Demonstrates what obstacle Simon encounters as he must figure out a way to get out of Gerald’s prank |
| 8. Simon, trying to squirm free, begs Gerald for the key back as he mocks him by dangling the key in front of Simon’s face barely within reach | 8. Further characterizes Gerald. He is devious and and childish |
| 9. Simon attempts to get up and go after Gerald but falls off the couch and onto the ground, realizing his shoes are tied together but unable to untie them due to the handcuffs | 9. Brings out main conflict in story on what Simon must deal with and try to get out of to overcome |
| 10. Simon struggles on the floor trying will ever will in his body attempting to break free while Gerald is outside the door mocking him | 10. Audience sees Simon is truly angered and no longer thinks the prank is funny while Gerald has a different perspective |
| 11. Gerald puts the handcuff key on the porch steps and walks away with an accomplished smile on his face without regret or remorse | 11. Shows that Gerald is truly relentless when it comes to pranking and proves he doesn’t stop at any extent |
| 12. Cuts to Simon’s dog in the kitchen knocking down a lit candle off the table which lands near a curtain, causing it the enflame | 12. Introduces big turning point within story foreshadowing Simon’s fate and Gerald’s life changing mistake |
| 13. Fire grows bigger while Simon remains in the house still trapped unable to make it out alive | 13. Shows big conflict and second turning point of story. Also brings out major backstory to antagonist’s mistakes |
| 14. Gerald sees fire from a block away with a worried look on his face realizing Simon hasn’t made it out | 14. Gerald realizes what an enormous mistake he has made as he considers everything he has done: kills someone and forever looks at himself as a murderer |
Monday, October 1, 2012
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Overall, a job well done. I found the... I guess, the "twist" rather unexpected; it's interesting how quickly the decidedly lighthearted beginning takes a turn for the much, much worse. Your intent for each scene is clearly communicated, and the first eleven scenes could be executed easily. However,the one glaring problem I have with this is that the final three scenes are pretty much impossible to produce (at least legally and monetarily). Otherwise, right on bud. Keep on truckin'.
ReplyDeleteGreat overall. But just as Tyrin said, I find the last couple of scenes virtually impossible to get done. But other than that a very good job done chap.
ReplyDeleteI like how you incorporate the dramatic as hell plot twist in this film. However, will you be able to actually burn down the house. Granted you can do visual effects but that's going to be hard to execute. If I were you, I'd start thinking of some alternative to the house burning. What I like about what you did about the film is the change in moods. As I was reading the beginning of the outline, I thought it seemed amateur, but the plot change made me a believer. Maybe the pranks can be used to reveal more about Simon's character. Is Simon a static character or is he just a vehicle to show Gerald's emotional journey? I want to know these things. Overall, good work looking forward to see this story.
ReplyDeleteI love the ending of this story, I had no idea that was coming. At first I thought that this was just a story about a kid playing a stupid prank on his friend but the plot twist at the end was perfect. As it was stated before, burning down a house, not possible at this level of film making. Like Charles said, the change in mood in the story is what got me. When i first read it, I thought it was also pretty amateur but with that plot twist, you added something new to the story which captured my attention quickly and I wanted to read more. If you could burn a house down without getting in serious trouble, I would like to see this come alive. Maybe start developing the characters more and the motives. Try and develop the backstory as to why Gerald decided to play a prank on Simon.
ReplyDeleteas evryone else said a very good overall story line but the last few scenes look hard to get but good ideas.
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